Here's Something I Can Hold On To
by whatifimnotthehero
Summary: SNARRY. Harry Potter is a Quidditch star and he likes to drink and party. He's the resident bachelor of the Wizarding World, but things start to change one morning when he finds himself passed out on Snape's front lawn. He develops feelings for Snape, but can he change enough for Snape to return those feelings? Please read and review!
1. Chapter 1

**Here's Something I Can Hold On To**

**Chapter 1:**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, and I am not profiting from this story. **

Harry was being nudged awake by something, but he was so hung over that all he wanted to do was sleep. Last night had been insane, they had won the British and Irish League finals and were now the national Quidditch champions. They were now moving on to the European Cup and if they won that they would move into the first rounds of the qualifying for the World Cup finals. Harry had been the star of the game having grabbed the snitch in the final moments and winning a tied game for his team. He had gotten so drunk that he didn't remember half the night, the amount of Firewhiskey that he had consumed was probably enough to kill a man. Everyone had insisted on buying him shots at the pub not far from the stadium, and he didn't even remember where he had ended up for the night. He had a reputation of waking up in a random guy's bed when he got this drunk, and more than likely that's where he was now. There was that incessant nudging again, couldn't they just let him sleep a bit longer.

He opened his eyes, and it took him a minute or so to be able to focus on where he was. That's when he saw that he was laying on a lawn, in the middle of a random neighborhood. This was a first, he could honestly say that he had made it inside after every drunken escapade. He rolled over onto his back and groaned when he got the full effect of the sun. His head was pounding and everything sort of felt like it was spinning, this was a hangover for the ages. What he didn't expect was to wake up to find his former potions professor standing over him with a scowl that looked absolutely murderous. He knew that he was in for a proper reaming now, what was Snape even doing here? Had someone reported him missing and then Dumbledore had sent Snape of all people to track him down.

"Potter!" Snape barked at him.

"Sorry, Professor Snape," he moaned and pushed himself up into a sitting position.

"What do you think you're doing?!" Snape demanded.

"I don't exactly know to be honest. I guess I got a little too drunk last night," Harry frowned and rubbed his temples in an effort to stop his head from pounding. "Did Dumbledore send you after me. I'm not a child I can take care of myself."

"Funny that," Snape snorted.

"What's so funny?"

"Professor Dumbledore did not send me to hunt down his golden boy. I came out to collect my morning paper and what do I find? A former student asleep on my front lawn."

"Wait, you live here?" Harry asked surprised.

"Indeed," Snape pondered before grabbing him by the shirt and pulling him up. "Inside, before the damn Prophet finds you and decides to snap a picture."

Harry almost emptied the contents of his stomach right there. The sudden movement of being jerked to his feet by Snape and the hangover made his head swim and it took everything in him to hold back the tide of vomit that was sure to come. He made it just inside the door before Snape had to point him to the bathroom. He bolted down the hall and into the small bathroom and heaved everything out over the toilet. When Harry had emptied the contents of his stomach it took everything in him to get the dry heaving to stop. Normally, he carried a hangover potion on him for such reasons, but upon checking his pockets he couldn't find it and put it up to having lost it somewhere during the previous night's escapades.

He rinsed his face in the sink before taking in his surroundings. The bathroom was done in dark shades of green and he was honestly surprised that the older man had any taste or need to be stylish. Snape seemed to be someone who was more interested in functionality than the way something looked. The rest of his house was done much the same way, and Harry had to admit that this did not look like a place that he would find Snape living. He tried to take in as much as he could as he made his way into the sitting room where Snape stood waiting on him. The man scowled at him and thrust a small potions vial to him and told him to drink it, it would quell the hangover. Then he pointed towards a chair in the small kitchen and instructed him to sit.

Harry watched captivated as the man began to prepare a breakfast for the two of them. He couldn't help but find it all sort of attractive, the way the man mixed the eggs, and chopped the ingredients to go into the omelets that he was preparing. He shook his head and told himself not to ever think of Snape that way again. When breakfast was done Snape silently slid a plate in front of him and then took his own and sat in the chair across from him.

"It's important to eat once you've taken the potion," Snape said after a moment. "It helps to soak up any residual alcohol. I trust that you know to drink plenty of water throughout today?"

"Yeah," Harry nodded, feeling slightly embarrassed and feeling like a chastised child.

"It is time to grow up," Snape added after a moment. "How can you expect to make anything of a career in sports if you drink yourself into submission after every game. I trust this is the first time you have woken in someone's yard?"

"Yeah," Harry blushed.

"Grow up, Potter. I am tired of seeing your mug on the front page of the paper," Snape said sharply. "I understand that the majority of your youth was robbed by the dark lord, but you are no longer a teenager."

"Sorry," Harry blushed again and ran a hand through his messy hair.

After thanking Snape for breakfast, the man showed him to the door and Harry apparated home to his flat. If anyone else had commented on his recent behavior he would have gotten hot headed about it and told them to get stuffed, but something about Snape saying it that resonated with him. He couldn't get the thoughts of finding the man attractive out of his head, what was going on with him. He showered and decided to go to Diagon Alley to have a wander around, he couldn't stand the idea of sitting at home and thinking about Snape anymore. There was this pull to the man and he couldn't figure out why, what was going on with him. He had had breakfast with the man and now he felt like he had been slipped some sort of potion that made his stream of thoughts circle around the man instead.

People mostly left Harry alone when he went out in public, besides a few stray reporters, and a couple of kids who were brave enough to ask for an autograph most outings were peaceful. He wasn't really sure what he was looking for, and he spent a lot of time in the Quidditch shop checking out the latest gear, and the newest models of broomsticks. He flew for England's team and they always had the latest models before they were even released. He had even been talked into doing a few modeling jobs for them in order to advertise their new gear. He always ended up giving it to Ginny who was currently flying for the Holyhead Harpies. He didn't need it, and even though she was making pretty good money, the Harpies weren't sponsored by top of the line broom and gear companies. He didn't need all of it, and he could afford to buy all of it, and he usually did. She even got his old brooms once the team were issued new ones, and she would pass on the one she had at the moment to someone else. The only broom he ever bothered to keep was the Firebolt that Sirius had bought him. He could never imagine letting it go, and he still took it out flying sometimes.

After spending the morning in the Quidditch shop, he got some lunch from the restaurant that sat across from the Apothecary and the shop itself reminded him of his potions professor. Once he had believed the thoughts were gone here they were again rushing in and clouding his thought process. When he had finished lunch he found himself going into the shop. He hadn't been in the shop in ages, and he had no idea what most of the stuff was. There was a handsome man behind the counter who perked up when he entered. The walls were lined with strange ingredients and his thoughts quickly turned to maybe getting something for Snape to apologize for that morning's escapades in the man's yard. He had no idea what to get a world class potion's master and finally the man behind the counter stopped his fretting.

"Looking for anything in particular?" He asked cheerfully.

"A gift. I think," Harry said thoughtfully.

"Anything in particular?"

"That's the problem. I'm trying to say sorry, but at the same time he's very trained in potions and I have no idea what he could possible need," Harry said biting his lip.

"Ahh, so hard to buy for then?" The man chuckled.

"Yes, and I'm aiming to please."

"If you want to issue the perfect apology, I think I have the perfect thing for you," the man said before disappearing into the backroom.

"What's that?" Harry asked eyeing the clear liquid in the glass bottle the man was holding.

"Acromantula venom, very rare, and very hard to come by," the man said happily. "I just got this in this morning."

"Is it very expensive?" Harry grinned.

"Yes, this much is 150 galleons," the man nodded.

"Brilliant! I think this will do then," Harry said pulling out his wallet to pay.

The man boxed up the glass bottle, and cast an unbreakable charm on it before handing it to Harry. Afterwards Harry wandered into one of the shops that sold gift supplies and bought a shiny black bag for it and a ribbon to wrap around the box. He momentarily considered buying the man a bottle of expensive Firewhiskey, but he was sure what type the man even drank.

The gift sat on Harry's dining room table for most of the week. He was nervous about seeing the man again, and he was also worried about whether the man would like the gift or not. He was also still slightly embarrassed about the fact that the man hat felt the need to scold him for the way he had been acting and presenting himself to the public eye. Technically, it was none of Snape's business, but after the war Harry had developed an intense respect for the man. There was also the embarrassing nature of Harry's little crush, he wasn't sure he could be in the same room as Snape without blushing furiously. He knew he would never develop the courage to ask the man out and prayed that his childish crush would soon fade. There's no way he could even talk to Ron or Hermione about it because Hermione would turn on protective mother mode and Ron would laugh him off the face of the Earth.

After days of pacing in front of his dining room table he finally worked up the nerve to take the gift to Snape. He convinced himself that he was just going to stop by and apologize to the man and then come home. He was more nervous about this encounter than when he had gone to meet Voldemort in the forest. Finally he ripped up the bag off the table, straightened his clothes and apparated away before he could manage to change his mind. He stood in front of Snape's house and took deep breaths before heading up the pathway and knocking on the door.

**A/N: Lemme know what you think and whether or not you'd like to see more. This is just something I'm working on between chapters of my main story Diary of a London Call Boy which is also a snarry fic. Thanks in advance for reading and reviewing!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Here's Something I Can Hold On To**

**Chapter 2:**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. **

Snape had a mixture of annoyed and surprised to find Harry on his doorstep again. At least it's the doorstep and not his front lawn Harry had reminded himself while working up the courage to knock. Harry smiled weakly at him and held up the gift bag. After a moment Snape motioned him inside and he blushed slightly when the man asked him to have a seat and then asked if he would like some tea. Harry had barely managed to squeak out the affirmative response. He didn't understand why he was so nervous, nervous in a good way not in the he's going to take house points and give me detention for the rest of my natural born life way. Snape disappeared into the kitchen to put the kettle on and Harry took an opportunity to take in his surroundings once more.

The furniture was black leather and much like the bathroom there were loads of dark greens around the house, how very Slytherin Harry mused. The place was completely tidy and if it weren't for little signs of life Harry would have never known that anyone even occupied the house. There was a book on the table with a slip of paper marking the page that Snape had stopped on, and next to it was his morning post including the paper. Harry picked up the paper and frowned when a very drunk photo of him danced across the front page. Hopefully this would be the last time that anyone had to see his drunk mug on the front page. He was determined to try and straighten up, he wasn't being much of a role model and for some reason deep down he wanted to please Snape.

When Snape came back in and took a seat in the arm chair across from him, Harry nervously stood and handed him the bag.

"What's this for?" Snape asked skeptically.

"It's an I'm sorry for spending the night passed out on your front lawn gift," Harry grinned sheepishly.

"This was not necessary," Snape grimaced.

"I know it wasn't, but I saw it and I thought it might be useful to you," Harry shrugged.

He watched as Snape studied the bag for a moment before carefully taking out the box within and examining the bow. He looked at Harry for a moment and Harry encouraged him to open it. His long fingers delicately untied the bow and pulled the top of the box open. He slowly reached in and slid the bottle of liquid out of the box. He looked at Harry in confusion as if to ask what it was. Of course he wasn't certain, the man at the shop hadn't gotten a chance to label it yet and Harry hadn't even thought to do it.

"It's acromantula venom," Harry grinned brightly.

"This is too much," Snape grimaced.

"No, the man in the shop said this would be perfect for someone skilled in potions," Harry said earnestly.

"Indeed, it is very rare, but it is also very expensive."

"Yeah, but who cares? If you can do something useful with it why should it matter?" Harry countered. "I'm not taking it back, what would I even do with it?"

"Thank you," Severus said after a moment.

"You're welcome," Harry beamed.

Harry groaned after leaving Severus' upon remembering that his flat was a wreck and that Witch Weekly was due for an interview the following day. He had once again been nominated as the wizarding world's most eligible bachelor, so he had to oblige them with a cover shoot. He groaned at having to answer all of the stupid questions about his favorite food and color, and more importantly the rumor that he and Draco Malfoy had a fling. Just because they were friends and high profile any public sighting ended in a write up in the next day's paper that they were on a date. For fuck's sake he could never date Draco Malfoy, he was so self involved and childish, sort of like you, Harry's subconscious reminded him.

He looked around his room and groaned at the pile of dirty laundry that was deposited in the corner and the pile of clean clothes that littered the bottom of his closet. He flicked his wand and the clothes started to press the wrinkles out of themselves and jump onto the hangers. He picked up an armful of the dirty laundry and carried it into the laundry to put on a wash. He really did need to stop treating his flat like a teenager's bedroom. Severus wouldn't be impressed by it, his house was immaculate, but chances are Severus wouldn't be seeing his flat any time soon. Why would he, the man probably didn't even notice him that way and who was to say he was even into blokes. Harry groaned loudly and headed into the kitchen to tidy up. He set the dishes to doing themselves and banished the garbage and cleaned the counters and floors. He really would have to thank Hermione for getting him that book on domestic spells.

After clearing up everything he sat on the couch and decided on an evening in with the telly. He was meant to be at Oliver Wood's party, but he thought it best to give it a pass. It would end like parties always ended, him too drunk to remember what had happened when he woke up the next morning, and finding out through some story and pictures that The Daily Prophet had bought off someone else who had gone to the same party. Most of the time the stories were embellished, but sometimes he couldn't help but wonder. If he ever wanted Snape to take him seriously as an equal and not a child he really had to clean up his act. He needed to be the positive role model that he had set out to be in the beginning, before partying became the center piece of his life.

Abandoning the idea of the tv he found an empty box and started to sit the large collection of alcohol in it. At the next team practice he'd sit in out in the locker room and the team would be more than happy to take it off of his hands. He wasn't going to give up drinking altogether, but something about a collection as large as his didn't look that good, especially with the interview tomorrow. He carried the box into the spare bedroom and shoved it into the bottom of the closet.

The next morning when Harry woke up he showered quickly and threw on the clothes that he had picked out the night before. He barely had the time to finish breakfast when the knock came to his door. He opened the door and was surrounded by a flurry of people from Witch Weekly. There was the interviewer and the photographer and their stylist and various interns all set up station in his living room. The stylist immediately set to work on his unruly hair attempting to give it that fresh off the broom, windswept look. The lady who introduced herself as Robin tutted disapprovingly at what he was wearing and he was forced to lead her to his closet so she could pick out something more acceptable. She finally sorted out him out in black jeans and a tight, red England t-shirt; as if everyone wasn't aware which team that he played for.

The photo shoot was first, and he was glad because it was his lead favorite part, and he was just happy to get it over with. The photographer draped an England National Team flag over the fire place and he was forced to stand in front of it and smile brightly. Then came the photos of him standing out on his small balcony looking off at the sites of Wizarding London. They told him to act as causal as possible, and then he was forced to sit back and relax on the lounge chair he had shoved outside. Finally they wanted pictures of him with his broomstick, so he pulled it down off the rack and they took shots of him polishing the wood. What really irked him was when the photographer noticed his Firebolt and asked him about it, and when Harry finally admitted it was the broom his godfather had bought him he was forced to tell the story to the waiting reporter, and they had to have pictures of it. They insisted that it would show a softer side of him, but he didn't care about any of that. It sort of felt like an invasion of privacy. Finally, they were done with their photos and it was time to get the questions out of the way.

"Okay, question time," the small reporter from the year before smiled at him.

"Um…pardon, but this might be a bit easier if we were properly introduced," he shrugged.

"Oh, right, sorry. Dawn," she beamed at him.

"Nice to meet you," he said half heartedly.

"Likewise. Okay question number one: What are you most passionate about?"

"Number one would be my friends, which are basically my family. So family and friends," he offered. " Number two would be Quidditch."

"Right, you're known to be quite a party animal, any reason for that?" She asked sincerely.

"I just like to have a bit of fun and sometimes it gets out of hand. I'm working on changing that part of me though," he announced resolutely. "Time to grow up and settle down all of that."

"So, does that mean you're giving up Quidditch?" She asked digging further into what must be a big story for her.

"Course not. Just trying to be more responsible, maybe date seriously," he shrugged. "I'm still figuring out what I want."

"Is there anyone special in Harry Potter's life?" She beamed up at him.

"Not exactly," he blushed slightly, and silently cursed himself.

"Care to expand?"

"No, not really," he shrugged apologetically.

"Right, then. What do you plan to do with the winnings from the bachelor of the year contest?"

"I'm gonna donate it a children's charity," he shrugged. "I don't need it, and there are people out there that do. I'd also just like to point out that I'd appreciate if you don't print anything about me being great or anything special for doing it. It's just the right thing to do."

"Of course not," she nodded, but he knew he had wasted his breath.

When he finally cleared them all out of his flat, he was breathed a sigh of relief. It was nearly lunchtime and he couldn't help but wonder what Snape was doing for lunch. In a last minute decision he went out and got some Chinese takeaway and apparated onto the path in front of Snape's house. He hoped the man didn't hope him showing up unannounced, more than likely he would be angry about it. Snape was the type of the man that worked on a strict schedule, but Harry couldn't seem to get him off of his mind. He wandered up the path and knocked on the door, but there wasn't an answer he waited a few minutes and knocked again, but there was still no answer. Maybe Snape thought he was annoying and knew that it was him, and decided not to come to the door. He shrugged in defeat and turned to head back down the path when Snape finally pulled the door open and was standing there with an annoyed look on his face. He looked at Harry expectantly and Harry grinned nervously and held up the bags of food.

"I thought you'd like some lunch," Harry shrugged nervously.

"What are your motives?" Snape asked skeptically.

"I'm hungry, you're probably hungry, and I thought instead of eating alone we could eat together," Harry blushed.

"How insightful," Snape drawled sarcastically.

"I thought we could be friends," Harry said after a moment.

"I'm not in the business of making friends, particularly not with former students who I found drunk on my lawn a few days ago."

"Oh, come off it Snape," Harry blurted out. "I just want to have lunch with you. I hope you like Chinese. Can I come in?"

"I suppose," Snape said after considering it for a moment.

Harry followed the man into the house and into the kitchen. He set the food on the table and Snape excused himself for a moment to discard of his work robes. Harry passed the few minutes by unpacking the bags of food and arranging them in the center of the table. When Snape came back without his robes on Harry couldn't help but notice the man's lean, muscular figure. How his slender fingers reached into the cabinet and pulled out glasses and plates. He had to shake his head and focus on the food before Snape caught him staring. Snape sat the glasses down and handed Harry one of the plates and took a seat at his end of the table. Harry picking up the hint, sat down across from him and searched for a way to make conversation.

"How was your morning?" Harry finally asked after a few moments. "Do anything interesting?"

"Research on a potion that is proving to be quite difficult," Snape answered curtly.

"Oh, what sort of potion?" Harry asked with genuine interest.

"A more effective take on the Wolfsbane Potion."

"What would it do? I mean like differently than the old one?"

"It would stop the transformation from taking place," Snape mused lightly.

"That's brilliant!" Harry beamed at him. "You're brilliant!"

"Indeed, Potter," Snape said sliding some egg rolls onto his plate.

"Harry," he replied stubbornly.

"Pardon?" Snape scowled at him.

"If we're going to be friends you should call me Harry and I'll call you Severus if that's okay," Harry said fighting back another blush.

"Fine," he nodded reluctantly. "Harry, how have you spent your morning then?"

"Bachelor of the year photo shoot with Witch Weekly," he grimaced.

"I take it that you didn't want the title?"

"Not really, they only give it to me because of what happened with Voldemort. The only good thing that comes from it is the 10,000 galleons, and that's only because I give it all the charity," he shrugged.

"Saint Potter," Severus smirked and Harry shot him a scowl.

The rest of the meal passed in the same manner, the two of them making conversation. Harry was more the one to take control in this situation, Severus was an immensely private man and getting him to willingly talk was a challenge within itself altogether. Harry managed to get more out of him that Severus would have willingly indulged him with. He liked it. After lunch Severus made tea, and the two of them sat in the sitting room and Harry asked him more about the potion he was working on and whether or not he thought that he could make it work. Severus seemed to know more about Quidditch than he had ever let on before and asked Harry about England's chances at winning the cup. He babbled on incessantly about how brilliant the cup was going to be, and Severus sat and politely listened. That's another thing he noticed, and liked about the man, he was a really good listener and only interrupted when he had a question about the topic. Harry was grinning like an idiot by the time he had finished babbling. He stayed until mid afternoon when the man made a comment about getting back to work, it was really a polite way of saying it'd be great if you could leave now, because I have important work to do.

Harry was filled with the sort of euphoria that often accompanied a crush, and allowed Severus to walk him to the door. In a spell of idiotic, Gryffindor courage Harry leaned up and quickly placed a light kiss on the man's lips. He watched Severus in an attempt to gauge his reaction, but the man's face remained impassive.

"You should go," Severus said after a moment.

"I'm not sorry, you know," Harry replied quietly.

"That's right the famous Harry Potter is never sorry for anything is he?" Severus said darkly.

"That's not fair," Harry said quickly.

"Few things rarely are," Severus said darkly.

"I really do like you. I'm not playing any sort of games," Harry protested.

"Why are you doing this?" Severus demanded angrily.

"Because I'm pathetically, head over heels for you. I can't stop thinking about you and what you're doing!" Harry said earnestly.

"It's just a crush you idiot! They pass, they always pass! Grow up, Potter," Severus scowled darkly and shut the door with a snap.

**A/N: I hope y'all like it thanks for reading and reviewing!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Here's Something I Can Hold On To**

**Chapter 3:**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter and I'm not making money from this. **

"Mione, I don't know what I did wrong," Harry groaned hugging one of his couch cushions tightly.

"Mate, first off you kissed Snape," Ron laughed hysterically. "I'm honestly shocked that he didn't hex you into oblivion."

"Ronald! Honestly!" Hermione scowled sternly. "Harry, you kissed Snape who is one of the most guarded men in the world. You kissed him without permission and without warning."

"I thought it was okay!" Harry argued. "No one has ever complained before."

"Not to your face anyways," Ron snorted and received a glare from both of them.

"Snape isn't just some tart that you picked up with no problem while you were both drunk out of your minds."

"She's right mate," Ron called from within the refrigerator.

"Thanks a lot," Harry groaned at him.

"If you want to show him that you're serious, you need to apologize to him and show him that it isn't just some silly crush," she said knowingly.

"You're screwed," Ron said through a mouthful of cake and Harry groaned again.

"Don't forget to apologize to him!" Hermione said pointedly. "And if he thinks it's nothing more than a crush ask him for a chance to prove yourself, but remember Harry you can't force him to return the feelings. This will probably require a lot of patience so remember that."

After Ron and Hermione went home he spent most of the afternoon considering his options. He could either let it all go or he could fight for this. He needed to decide and then prove that this wasn't just a stupid crush. The most important thing to do was to not waver. The first thing was going to be proving that he wasn't just some kid looking for the one night stand that he was so famous for, that he was indeed growing up and serious about this. But the first and most important thing was going to be his apology. He wanted to take another trip to the Apothecary before his night practice, he wanted to get the man something that said sorry, but was also very useful for him. He wasn't sure what another present was going to do for the situation, but it felt right, like sending someone flowers. Maybe he could get Severus all flower based ingredients, would he get the idea or would he just think Harry even dumber than he already did. He showered quickly and grabbed all of his equipment for practice and headed to The Leaky Cauldron.

The worst thing about trying to figure out how to essentially court Severus Snape was the fact that he was totally clueless. He wandered around the shop for around an hour trying to sort out what was what before he had to finally ask the young shop assistant for help. Together they collected any ingredients derived from a flower and were useful. He was sure that Severus probably had all of these, but it was the idea of sending the man flowers through potions ingredients that made him swell with a bit of pride. He finally finished shopping for the ingredients and was taking the large crate out and to a courier to have it delivered when a reporter snapped his picture. He didn't know why he didn't expect it, but for some reason this caught him completely off guard.

"What're yah doin with all the potions ingredients, 'Arry," the man called after him.

"Just a gift for a friend," he shrugged and pushed past the small gathering of people.

"A special friend?" the reporter called after him and he shrugged.

When he dropped by the courier's shop he was pleased to find that they were also selling his issue of Witch Weekly. He had promised Mrs. Weasley a copy and paid to have them owl it to her. He wasn't sure what came over him and made him do it, but he picked up a copy of the magazine and flicked to the page where they were speculating about him having a beau and circled it with the man at the desk's pen and slid it in between the bottles and vials in the crate. He borrowed a bit of stationary from the man and decided to pen a small note to accompany the package.

_ Severus, _

_ You probably think I'm a coward for not saying this in person, but I thought you might like some space. I really am sorry if you thought I was in any way disrespecting you. I meant everything I said, and if you ever _

_ want to have a proper dinner date you know where to find me. (Also, I _

_ hope you like my gift I hope you get the double meaning.)_

_ - Harry_

He seemed satisfied with what he had written and tipped the man generously in hopes that he wouldn't sell the story to The Daily Prophet. He headed off to practice and hoped that the man took his peace offering/apology and more importantly liked it.

Harry had backed off after the present and letter, but was surprised a few days later when the crate of stuff was returned to his flat. Stubborn, as ever. Harry paid the lad who delivered it to return it to Severus. He wasn't going to take no for an answer, it was a gift and there were no strings attached to it. He sighed in frustration and went to collect his gear for another afternoon practice, this was going to be so hard, but he had to stay steadfast if he was going to prove himself. One sign of doubt or weakness and the man would even consider the idea, he would shut him down completely. He sort of already felt shut down by it all, but there was a small window of opportunity and he was trying to open the window even more, at least until Severus decided to open a door.

Practice was grueling and he couldn't seem to focus, and this was twice now that the reserve seeker had almost beaten him to the snitch. He had gotten told off by the coach, and was attempting to concentrate. He couldn't help it though, he was worried that when he got home the potion ingredients would be waiting for him on his doorstep, and if that were the case that basically meant that Severus was refusing his apology and was shutting him down. He couldn't help how he felt, it was all so sudden to him as well. It's not like he woke up one morning and decided on him, it hadn't worked like that. He chose him, and all that he could hope for was that Severus would choose him back. Harry was so caught up in his thoughts about Severus that he didn't see the beaters send the two bludgers his way, and when they hit him he cried out in surprise and toppled off of him broomstick. Everyone was so surprised that no one had the wits about them to cushion his fall and he hit the ground at full speed and everything went black.

When he woke up some time later he was in the familiar white walls of St. Mungo's. He shifted uncomfortably and groaned from the pain that radiated from his legs and hips. He had really fucked himself over this time, he couldn't wait to get told off by the everyone for this. He tried to push himself up onto the pillows that were behind him, but a nurse quickly came in and started scolding him for moving.

When he had hit the ground he had managed to fracture his pelvis and they had given him Skelegrow to sort the problem out. The only problem being that he was put off of Quidditch for the next week while everything sorted itself out. He groaned inwardly at the idea of having to sit the next week of practices out, he would drive himself mad. Another thing was that the European Cup was coming up so very soon and he couldn't afford to miss any practice time if they wanted to win. The thing about the English National Team was that they didn't keep more than one seeker on the roster. Each week they would call up a new seeker from one of the various teams in the United Kingdom as a fresh challenge. So whether it be Draco Malfoy or Ginny Weasley he was always facing someone new. He would have to give a name to substitute for him the rest of the week, and with Draco looking at signing with Ireland he would call on Ginny to take his spot this week.

"Harry!" Hermione cried bursting through the door with a worried expression.

"Mione calm down," Ron said trailing after her.

"We were so worried," she said ignoring him.

"I'm fine Mione," he reassured her.

"You've been out since the accident," she said tiredly.

"Yeah, a few hours," he shrugged.

"No, Harry it's been nearly 12 hours," she explained. "They've been regrowing your entire pelvis. They only let us back to see you once." 

"Well, it's nearly good as new," he smiled at her.

"I'm just so glad you're okay," she cried throwing her arms around his neck and Ron grumbled something about bloody theatrics.

"Snape came to see you, mate," Ron said waggling his eyebrows suggestively.

"Really?" Harry asked perking up immediately. "How did he find out?"

"All over this morning's Prophet," Ron grinned and Harry groaned.

"He was worried enough to come and check on you," Hermione pointed out. "That must mean there is something going on with him. We all know Snape and we know that he doesn't just come to visit former students who are doing poorly."

"Yeah," Harry grinned again.

That afternoon Harry was sent home, but given strict instructions to take it easy and to rest as much as he could. He couldn't see himself going out into public with the way he was currently shuffling about like an old man, the papers would have a field day with him. Ron and Hermione made sure that he made it home with no worries, and then Hermione ordered in dinner for him and he sent word for Ron to tell Ginny to be at practice for him. He had just settled in on the couch with the takeaway spread out on the table when a knock came on the door. He pushed himself up onto his feet and shuffled over to the doorway. He nearly fell over when he pulled the door open and Severus was standing right there staring back at him.

"Shouldn't you be in bed?" The man asked immediately.

"Someone had to answer the door," Harry shrugged and shuffled back over to the couch. " Come in if you like."

"How are you?" Severus said after a moment.

"Fine," Harry shrugged. "A bit sore."

"I wanted to thank you for the _flowers_," Severus said cautiously. "And to make sure you were okay."

"I'm fine," Harry smiled softly. "Would you like to stay and eat I've got loads of food. I'll never finish it all."

"No, that's quite alright. I must be going," Severus said turning to leave.

"Why'd you come?" Harry asked quickly.

"Like I said to make sure that you were well."

"No, you would have never come before," Harry accused.

"Nor would you have if it were me," Severus shot back at him. "Listen, Potter…" 

"Harry," he corrected.

"Harry," Severus nodded. "A relationship may not be within my spectrum with you, but I would still like to build a friendship, if it's amenable to you?"

"Yeah, I'd like that," Harry grinned and Severus nodded tersely.

"I really must go," Severus said after a moment.

That was the oddest, but one of the best things that had happened to Harry. If Severus was willing to be friends maybe this was the foundation he needed for it to maybe blossom into something more. Why couldn't Severus be easy about anything, he felt bag for the first years that were about to suffer through 7 years of the man. He was stubborn and set in his ways and they were going to pay the ultimate price if they didn't stay in between the narrow lines set by their professor. He must be crazy for wanting to endure it on a daily basis, but somewhere inside him there was a voice telling him that a Severus Snape in love was a totally different person, unrecognizable to say the least.

**Thanks for reading and reviewing!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Here's Something I Can Hold On To **

**Chapter 4**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.**

The past couple of days had drug on for Harry instead of being allowed to practice he was forced to sit in the bleachers while the rest of the team got on without him. He had already been the source of many speculations by The Daily Prophet and how this could be a season ending injury for England. They needed all the time they could on the field and with one of their most important players missing out on a week's worth of practice how could they ever be expected to take the European Cup and qualify for the World Cup. Harry was so annoyed by the entire thing that he had bought an entire stack of the papers from the nearest newsstand and incinerated them on the spot. Losing his cool had ended up with his picture once again ending up on the front page of the paper. He really couldn't win. The only good news was the his injury was healing nicely and that he should be back on a broom by Monday's practice. He honestly couldn't wait.

Sitting in the stands while everyone else sort of felt like being in time out and he often found himself drifting off asleep. The only problem with this is that his teammates liked to send freezing water cascading down on him when it happened. He really couldn't wait for the game against the Spanish National Team. They were always fierce competitors and had just beaten the American National Team, which wasn't that big of an accomplishment since the Americans preferred Quodpot to Quidditch. The game was close though and the Americans put up an admirable fight, something the Spanish team hadn't been expecting. He loved to watch other teams play, he could never stand to watch back any of the games he had been a part of, he learned how to better himself through others. He couldn't stand to see himself onscreen because he was incredibly too hard on himself and he got too wrapped up in it the next game.

Not being able to stand sitting there anymore, he got up with the intention to take a walk to stretch his legs. He wandered down into the lobby where the ticket offices were to say hello to Caroline who worked in there most days. They weren't close but sometimes Harry liked to stop by and see how she was, and he wanted to pick up a couple of tickets for the next few games. He had the idea that maybe if he actually went as far as to give Severus tickets and an invitation the man would feel compelled to come and see him play. After collecting the ticket he decided to cut out on practice early and head home, he wasn't useful and Ginny got ripe if he tried to correct her. Only a few more days he reminded himself as he apparated home.

He ran a hot bath to soak in and to ease the soreness that had accompanied him in the days following the accident. He briefly thought of Severus sharing the bath with him and almost laughed himself sick. The man would shoot him down if he even jokingly asked him about it. He seemed entirely too uptight to do something as frivolous as share a bath with Harry. Getting Severus to like him back was proving to be a long and arduous task as is. He wanted the man to at least feign some sort of interest before he returned to Hogwarts in a few weeks. When Severus went to Hogwarts it would complicate things, and the man would be less willing to visit him, Harry feared. Alas, he had only visited once, but that was once more than previously. He pulled himself up out of the bath and dried himself off, he slipped on a pair of sleep pants and an old Quidditch t-shirt. He padded into the kitchen to sort out dinner when a knock came at his door. Sighing, he abandoned the refrigerator and went to answer it.

"Hello?" Harry asked pulling the door open and smiling when it turned out to be Severus.

"Hello," he nodded.

"This is a surprise," Harry grinned.

"I can go if you are busy," Severus said hesitantly.

"Oh, no! It's a good surprise," Harry beamed at him.

"Listen, um, Potter…"

"Harry," he corrected.

"Harry," he nodded in agreement. "I was wondering, if perhaps, well I'd like to take your offer for dinner. Well if it still stands."

"Oh, let me check. Yeah, it definitely still stands," Harry laughed and invited him in.

"Just as friends," Severus said pointedly.

"Yes, of course," Harry nodded happily.

Harry led Severus into the sitting room and offered him a drink before semi shuffling his way into the kitchen to see what was in. Severus followed close behind him and insisted that he take a seat because he was still recovering. Harry apologized for not being able to really take the time and skill to be able to cook something, but was surprised when Snape shot down the idea of a takeaway and asked to cook something for them. He nodded in agreement and said he wasn't sure what he had in at the moment. Severus shrugged him off and began assessing what he had to work with. Harry watched the man take command of the kitchen and work his way through the refrigerator and pantry pulling out various things he needed. Harry liked to watch the man work, he had the same level of concentration about him that he would if he were working on a volatile potion in his lab. The man had put on pasta to cook while he set to work on a home made sauce with the ingredients he had pulled.

"Do you cook often?" Harry asked curiously.

"When I am home from school yes," Severus answered thoughtfully. "During the school year I tend to eat whatever the house elves have prepared."

"I almost never cook," Harry admitted. "I like to cook, but with practice and living on my own there's either no time or it feels pointless."

"Living off of fast food is not healthy," Severus chided him.

"Yeah, but I'm busy most of the time, at least I get plenty of exercise," Harry flexed playfully.

"What are you planning for after your illustrious career in sports?" Severus asked dicing some tomatoes.

"I haven't really thought about it," Harry said furrowing his brow.

"Most professional players max out before the age of 30," Severus said knowingly.

"You sure know how to kill a dream," Harry laughed.

"I'm just realistic," Severus said lightly. "Besides if you're going to be friends with me you will have to learn to live with it."

"Why won't you go on a date with me?" Harry asked suddenly and almost immediately regretted it. "Sorry, that was rude, you don't have to answer that."

"Honestly?" Severus asked and Harry nodded. "I do not deserve to be with someone as kind as you are. You're a pure soul and a good person and I am neither of those things."

"Shouldn't I get to decide whether you're good enough for me or not?" Harry asked as Severus stirred the sauce.

"Perhaps, in a different world," Severus mused.

When dinner was ready Severus opened the cabinet to pull out dishes and scoffed at Harry's plastic dinner wear and he shrugged in return. He hadn't bothered to buy real dishes when it was just himself. He didn't host dinner parties, and when he did attend such things they were always hosted by other people. Maybe in an attempt to impress the man he should buy new dishes and silverware, and not have the dinnerware of a ten year old.

Dinner was really great, especially considering that Harry had such a limited array of things to put a meal together from. The pasta and homemade sauce were delicious and Harry pulled out some wine for them to have with dinner. Despite having childish dinnerware he did have real wine glasses which he playfully pointed out to the man. Conversation around dinner was light and Harry asked the man about the upcoming school year and Severus politely asked him about the upcoming Quidditch match to which Harry hastily remembered the tickets he had gotten for the man. He hastily excused himself for a moment and disappeared into his bedroom and pulled the tickets off of his nightstand before bringing them out to give to the man.

"What are these for?" Severus asked confused.

"Tickets to my upcoming game," Harry smiled cheekily. "Friends support friends. If you have some crazy potions competition I'll be in the front row cheering you on."

"Potions is a solitary sport," Severus mused.

"You don't have to come. I would just like it if you did," Harry shrugged.

"I will see if I can find the time in my schedule," Severus said after a moment.

"Wicked!" Harry beamed at him.

"Your smile can prove to be quite infectious," he commented lightly.

"Did you ever think we could have a civil friendship outside of Hogwarts?" Harry asked amused.

"Never in a million years."

They finished off the bottle of wine and Harry cheekily opened a second one before digging through the freezer and digging out a tub of ice cream. It took some convincing, but Severus finally agreed to stay for dessert. Harry dished them both out some into bowls and they retired to the living room with glasses of wine and bowls of ice cream. Harry turned on the tv and it softly provided background noise as he asked Severus more questions about the potions he was working on and rambled on about how excited he was for the wolfs bane upgrade the man was busy working on. He rambled on about how Ginny was filling in for him while he was off injured and how excited he was to play Spain in the upcoming game and Severus sat the entire time and listened patiently to all of his inane blathering. The wine made him fuzzy and loose lipped and he couldn't help himself he just prattled on about anything and everything while Severus sat and took it all in. He apologized for being an annoying prat, but the man shrugged it off and told him he didn't mind.

When Severus announced that it was time for him to go Harry walked him to the door. They both sort of stood there awkwardly eyeing each other for a moment before Harry worked up the nerve and threw his arms around the older man and embraced him tightly. At first Severus stiffened at the contact, but slowly freed one of his arms and brought it around to return the embrace and lightly patted Harry on the back. Harry wasn't sure if it was all the wine they had or what but the next part surprised him more than anything possibly could have at that moment. When he let go of Severus the older man leant down and placed a quick peck on his cheek and turned to leave.

"What was that?" Harry half grinned at him.

"Don't get any ideas," Severus called over his shoulder before apparating away.

Harry brought his hand up to touch the cheek that had been kissed and blushed violently. What was Severus even thinking, the man must have had too much wine as well, he who had not that long ago been so vehemently against any sort of relationship with Harry including a friendship had just kissed him on the cheek. What was going on? He was so confused by it all that he had to keep reminding himself that it had actually just happened. . He needed to ask Hermione what it all meant, if it was actually anything at all, but for now he was happy that it had even had happened. It was definitely a start, or at least he hoped so He smiled contently to himself and headed inside to get ready for bed.

**A/N: Thanks for reading and reviewing and to those of you who have subscribed so far! If you get a chance you should check out my main story Diary of a London Call Boy which is also a Snarry!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Here's Something I Can Hold On To**

**Chapter 5**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or anything like that.**

Harry was still reeling from the kiss from a few days ago. He couldn't be happier. He was finally allowed back on the pitch to play and Severus was coming around and things were going so incredibly well. He was excited for the game against Spain and for the next time he got to see Severus. On Monday, when he had been allowed to return to the field Severus had made sure to send over some pain reliever potions for him to take after practice to ease any sore muscles. He couldn't believe the thoughtfulness behind it all. After a great practice, he headed off to the locker room to shower before heading home for the night. He tried to hide the constant smile that had been plastered across his face since Severus had showed the small sign of affection, but it was nearly impossible and everyone had felt the need to comment on it. It was the smile of someone who was really invested in someone else, who had sort of nabbed the other person. He wasn't about to speak a word about any of it to anyone besides Ron and Hermione though. They were the only people he could trust to keep it out of the papers and if this ended up in the papers when all of the lines were still blurred he knew it would ruin everything.

The next day there was a day off from practice and he paced back and forth the entire morning trying to decide whether or not to go and see Severus. They hadn't really spoken since that night, but Harry was eager to talk to the man. Finally, he straightened himself out and found himself nervously standing on the doorstep of the man's house. When Severus pulled the door open Harry grinned and the man nodded and quickly stepped aside to let him in.

"You should be more careful," Severus said as Harry plopped down onto his sofa.

"How so?" Harry asked puzzled.

"You're very high profile, someone is bound to notice you one day. There are wizarding families in this neighborhood."

"I don't mind," Harry shrugged. "But you do…"

"I am a very private man," Severus explained.

"Right. I'm sorry. What shall we do then?" Harry asked.

"You could perhaps floo in?"

"Yeah, of course," Harry blushed lightly.

"I will do the same if I come to visit you."

"So, that means we can't be spotted in public together?" Harry asked quietly.

"We can, but not often, and not in any way that might indicate that we are together. We are just friends and I do not want it to perceived as something more."

"Right, just friends," Harry said sullenly.

"Don't sulk, it's not very becoming," Severus scolded him.

Harry hung around Severus' house until around lunchtime when he said goodbye and headed off to meet Draco at the Leaky Cauldron for lunch. He would have rather have stayed behind and spent the rest of the day with Severus, but he had promised Draco and the blonde would have come and found and drug him out. He got to the pub early and slid into one of the booths on his own and sighed in annoyance as a group of what looked like 5th year girls sat and giggled in the corner. Normally such things wouldn't annoy him, but with Severus' use of 'just friends' had ruined the mood he had been sporting the past few days. He wasn't mad, just disappointed in allowing himself to ever believe that the kiss was only influenced by the consumption of the wine they had shared.

He sullenly looked over the menu as he waited on Draco and the girls giggled loudly and he noticed that one of them had a muggle cell phone and was trying to take sneaky shots of him. He sighed loudly and decided on the vegetable stew and a pint of lager. As he handed over his menu to Tom with a small smile Draco sauntered in and shot the girls one of his dazzling smiles and they all collapsed in a fit of giggles. Harry rolled his eyes at Draco's attention seeking ways and slouched further into the seat.

"Cheer up sourpuss," Draco admonished him almost immediately.

"You are such an attention whore," Harry grouched.

"Are you jealous that I'm the nation's sweetheart and you're not?" Draco smirked playfully.

"As if," Harry balked.

"What's wrong with you?" Draco grinned. "Did my godfather disappoint you?"

"What?" Harry asked.

"Don't play dumb I know all about it," he shrugged.

"How?"

"Your red headed friend has a big mouth and girl weasel passed on the news. You really should tell them to keep a lid on it," he said knowingly.

"Brilliant," he groaned.

"You have to admit it is quite surprising to tell your friends that you are in love with your former potions master," Draco laughed.

"Shut it," Harry sighed.

"What are you playing at with Severus?" Draco asked a little more seriously.

"I like him, like a lot," Harry said earnestly. "He's impossible though, I just want him to like me back and it's so hard."

"You're barking up the wrong tree. He doesn't do relationships or dating or anything frivolous in general."

"He kissed me, on the cheek, but that's something right?"

"You're going to wind up with a broken heart."

"What are you on about?"

"Let's just say he could show up at your door in the middle of the night, out of breath and sleepless, and try to find some semblance in peace in you, and you would let him in. If you showed up at his he wouldn't let you in, he'd tell you to go home."

Harry couldn't stop thinking about his talk with Draco and some part of him felt utter disappointment. It completely gutted him because if anyone knew Severus it would be Draco. He wasn't sure why Draco's words had resonated so greatly, but after lunch he went home and crawled into bed and stayed there. He didn't even bother to send an owl to the coach when he missed practice and later when Ron and Hermione came knocking at his door he didn't answer it. He felt shattered and he was still processing it all. He wanted to go and talk to Severus about it and he was likely overreacting to the entire situation but it just sort of broke him. He wanted this to work so much, he wanted their friendship to blossom into something more. He really was trying to make thing work, he hadn't had a drink or been to a party since that first day on Severus' lawn. Well except the wine he had shared with Severus, but he hadn't been sloshed or made a public scene.

Some part of him wanted to get up and go tell Draco to go fuck himself for putting that into his head. Another part of him blamed himself for wanting to believe it, if he were so willing to believe that it was the truth then there had to be some part of him that held the doubt. He wrestled with the idea of it for hours, just allowing it to eat away at him. Finally, something compelled him to get out of bed, he stumbled into his shoes and pulled on his jacket and apparated away. It was half past one in the morning when he stumbled up the path that led to Severus' house and knocked on the door. It took awhile but the man finally answered the door and Harry found himself at the wrong end of Severus' wand. He held up his hands to show that it was just him and that he wasn't a threat. Severus scowled at him and Harry couldn't help himself and threw his arms around the man's waist and hugged him.

Severus didn't say a word but just stood there as Harry buried his head into his chest. Harry couldn't help himself and was searching for some form of peace in the man's breastbone. After a few moments Severus pushed him back and stared at him questioningly. Harry shrugged and the man stepped aside to let him in.

"What's happened?" Severus asked concernedly and Harry shook his head.

"Nothing," he said incredibly embarrassed. "It's stupid."

"It can't be too stupid if you woke me up in the middle of the night all wild eyed and sleepless."

"Draco, was winding me up," Harry said semi defeated. "He said that you would break my heart."

"It is a real possibility," Severus said honestly.

"Yeah, but he said you wouldn't even give me a chance," Harry said quietly.

"I'm clearly giving you a chance," Severus said slightly annoyed. "Do not allow my godson to wind you up, it is a game that he is skillful at."

Harry couldn't help himself and threw his arms around the man again, this time Severus hesitantly returned the hug. Severus led him over to the couch and set him down and went into the kitchen and put the kettle on. He fretted nervously about being so stupid as to let all of this shut him down like it had. It had certainly been an overreaction and he had gone so far as to show up on the man's doorstep in the middle of the night. He groaned and buried his face in his hands. Severus must think him to be so incredibly stupid, he wanted to go home and bury himself in the covers and not come out. He had to look on the bright side of it all though, Severus had let him in and now he was in the kitchen making him a cup of tea. He was going to murder Draco the next time he saw him, he didn't know why he had believed him, maybe because the situation was tedious as is and Draco would have been the only person to have an insight on Severus.

Severus came back in a few moments later carrying two mugs of tea and sat one down in front of Harry. Gratefully, he picked up the mug and sipped it. The exhaustion of the day was finally starting to hit him, and the warmness of the tea made his eyes droop in exhaustion. He could feel Severus take the mug out of his hands and a pillow slide under his head and he was being tucked in under a blanket. He was too tired to protest or to tell the man it was okay and that he could go home.

The next morning Harry woke up all bleary eyed and groaned when the events of the night before came flooding back to him. He sat up sleepily and stretched out and looked around the room he was in. There was no sign of Severus and he briefly wondered if the man might still be asleep. He padded into the bathroom and when he came back Severus was coming in through the back door with what seemed to be a basket of herbs from the garden. Harry blushed as the man nodded to him and disappeared into a door off of the sitting room and returned a few moments later without the basket. He searched for words in order to break the silence but nothing came to him and finally Severus spoke up.

"I hope you don't mind me slipping you a sleeping potion last night. You were a bit hysterical," the man admitted to him.

"Uh no," Harry said running a hair through his hair. "That explains why I was out so fast."

"Indeed, would you like some lunch? You slept through breakfast and I did not want to wake you."

"Bugger, what time is it?" Harry asked in a scramble to get to put his shoes on.

"Half past twelve, why?"

"I'm late for pre game practice, and I missed practice last night. I'm gonna get it."

"Ah, yes, good luck today," Severus said after a moment.

"Thanks," Harry grinned. "Will you come see me play? It's a huge game!"

"If I must," Severus teased lightly.

"Wicked! I'll see you there?" Harry asked.

"Certainly," Severus nodded and Harry hugged him tightly and kissed his cheek and ran out in a hurry.

Harry didn't get reamed like he expected to. Mostly everyone was worried about his sudden disappearance and wanted to know if he was okay. The coaches were skeptical and made him endure a full check up by the team's doctor before being cleared to play. Once they were satisfied they made the call to bench Ginny, who they had called in last minute and allowed him to play. He whispered a quick apology to her and rushed to get dressed.

Harry was a force to be reckoned with on the pitch today. He was so excited for Severus to come and support him that he set a new personal best in catching the snitch and this was just at practice. Ginny couldn't keep up with him as he darted up and down the pitch chasing the snitch from one end to the other. He got particularly daring and dropped into the Wronski Feint and barely avoided one of the stray bludgers that strayed his way. Ginny thinking he had spotted the snitch zoomed after him and barely pulled up in time before crashing into the ground. He shouted an apology not intending for her to follow him and zoomed off across the pitch again.

When it was time for the actual game to begin he hovered over his reserved seats and watched for Severus to arrive. Ron and Hermione were already there, but there was no sign of the older man yet. He worried that he wouldn't turn up but 10 minutes before the game was set to start the man slid into his seat and Harry grinned brightly at him and waved slightly before shooting off across the pitch again. Harry was grateful that Severus was so easy to spot wearing his signature black in the sea of red and white that made up England's fans. It was quite funny as well, but he honestly couldn't imagine the man showing up in jeans and an England shirt either. He laughed to himself at the very idea of it.

The Spanish seeker was a force to be reckoned with she was ranked right below Harry. Her team certainly didn't live up to her skill set at all, she made Ginny seem harmless to say the least. Her name was Dani if remembered correctly and she was basically all that was standing between him and the European Cup. She trailed him for most of the game, his team was on par, but the Spanish team wasn't going down without a fight. Finally, he spotted the glint of gold on the other end of the year, but Dani hadn't so he tried to play it cool without letting the opportunity slip between his fingers. The only thing he could think of was to do the feint and hope that when he came back up that the snitch was still lurking on that end of the field. He zoomed around keeping an eye on it and she followed close behind. When he hit the middle of the field he dropped into the feint at high speed and she still tailing him, he didn't slow down as the ground edged nearer and nearer, and at the last minute he jerked his broom up and shot upwards. He looked down in time to see her tumble off of her broom and roll across the field. He made sure she was alright before darting across the field in the direction that the snitch had been. After a few minutes chase she was back on her broom, but as she started in his direction he dived and clasped the snitch in his hand and the entire stadium went crazy with cheers.

He landed on the ground enthusiastically and his team circled around him and hugged him and cheered. Everyone was patting him on his back and telling him good job, but all he could think about was making his way through the crowd to Severus. He finally shook off his team mates and climbed the barrier into the bottom of the stands and climbed through throngs of people and chairs until he was standing in front of Severus grinning and out of breath. He took the man's hand and placed the snitch in it as if telling him that this win had all been for him. The entire stadium disappeared around them as Severus leaned down pressed a gentle kiss on his lips. Harry's face heated up in a deep blush and he grinned up at the man.

He didn't notice the hushed whispers around them of people who had witnessed the encounter and when Severus turned to leave Harry followed after him. He didn't care that this would all probably overshadow their win on the front page of the papers tomorrow, he just hoped that Severus wouldn't come to regret it.

**A/N: Thanks for all the lovely reviews and thank you for taking the time to read my story!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Here's Something I Can Hold On To**

**Chapter 6**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. **

The morning after the game Harry crawled out of bed and padded into the kitchen in his boxers for breakfast. He opened the pantry to pull out the stuff to make a full on breakfast and when he turned to open the refrigerator he almost dropped everything in his hands at the sight of Severus at his kitchen table. The man was behind that morning's copy of the paper and had a cup of coffee. Harry stared open mouthed at the man and the only thing he wanted to know what how the man had managed to get in.

"Mornin'," Harry said casually and Severus flipped down the paper to look at him.

"You really should invest in some best security charms," the man chastised him.

"Well, no one has made it through until now," he shrugged lightly. "What're you doing here anyways?"

"I thought you might interested in this morning's paper," he replied.

"I get it delivered. What is it?" Harry asked starting to become embarrassed by his complete lack of clothing.

Severus held up the paper and there on the front page was the first real kiss they had shared in the stands the previous day. He turned bright red and set the food in his arms on the counter. His face was half grin, half shock. He knew it was going to happen, he knew the entire moment was going to overshadow the entire game, but he was still so surprised. He stared at Severus trying to read his facial expression or to get any sort of idea of how he felt about it, but he was getting nothing from the man. He spotted a sweatshirt on the couch and hurried over to it and pulled it on quickly.

"It's a nice picture," Harry said adjusting the pullover.

"It's an invasion of privacy," Severus replied sulkily.

"You can't just kiss me in public, after a game I just won and not expect for it to become front page news," Harry grinned impishly.

"Hmph," Severus said after a moment. "It is a nice picture."

Severus sent Harry to get dressed and started to cook breakfast for him. When he had finished getting ready, he came back into the kitchen and sat at the table admiring the photo. He got up and sifted through one of the drawers and found the scissors and crossed back to the table. He carefully clipped out the picture of Severus leaning down to kiss him and then him grinning, he crossed the kitchen and pinned it to his small notice board next to his Quidditch schedule. He noticed that Severus was watching him intently and he shrugged again and all but skipped back to the table.

He liked to watch Severus cook, he paid such rapt attention to everything he did. Harry imagined that it was much like watching him prepare and then brew his potions everyday. He would have to ask the man, because he would love to help him out in his lab someday. More like admire him while he did all the work, but Severus didn't have to know that, at least not up front. When the man had finished the fry up, he put Harry a portion on a plate and set it down in front of him before taking a seat with a cup of coffee across from him.

"Why aren't you eating?" Harry asked puzzled.

"I already had breakfast. Some of us wake up at a decent hour," Severus smirked playfully.

"It's before noon!" Harry protested. "Besides, yesterday was a big game!"

"Calm yourself. I too can joke," Severus said his voice full of mirth.

"Yeah, but you're not exactly know for your comedic skills," Harry laughed.

"Perhaps, I've never had the right audience," Severus challenged and Harry grinned.

Severus had excused himself after breakfast claiming that he had to get back to a potion that he had left in stasis. Harry was sad to see him go, but afterwards he found himself down at the local shop looking to buy up as many copies of the paper that he could, but when he got there he groaned loudly. Not only was The Daily Prophet covering it with front page news, but Witch Weekly had a full color photo spread from the encounter. He picked up a copy and flipped to the center and the photos were like a play by play of the entire thing. There were photos of him landing and his team cheering, and then him climbing through the stands, and placing the snitch into Severus' hand, and then finally the kiss. He groaned loudly, if Severus wasn't thrilled about the cover of the paper then he definitely wasn't going to like a full page spread. He picked up as many copies of each that he could carry and headed for the counter to pay. At the counter he noticed a small set of England pins and they had each of the players numbers and he picked up the one with his number 7 on it and added it to the stack. Maybe, he could give it to Severus and the man could wear it to future games.

The hardest part of trying to date Severus was the fact that the man was impossible to read, it was like staring at a brick wall most of the time and trying to get answers out of it. It was impossible. Asking the man didn't seem to be an option either, but when little things did slip through such as Severus showing up this morning with the photo, or the kiss, Harry was never sure that things were moving along nicely. He pocketed the pin and headed out onto the street, where there was a reporter waiting on him. She was dead set on asking him questions about Severus, but he just shrugged and gestured to the stack of papers in his hands before apparating away.

He clipped one of the color photos from Witch Weekly and took it into his bedroom and stuck it in the corner of the photo of him with Ron and Hermione on his nightstand. He felt a bit like a preteen girl who had just gotten her first picture taken with her first boyfriend, but mostly he didn't care. He was quite proud of his win, and his moment with Severus. The only thing he wasn't quite ready for was the attention that would come with a potential relationship with the man, and he wasn't sure if Severus was ready for the attention that would come along with being 'romantically involved' with him. He hoped that the stress of it all wouldn't get to the man and ruin what they were starting to build.

After lunch Ron and Hermione came over and Ron immediately started laughing at the stack of papers on the table. He picked up a few and said he was taking them to his mum and to Fred and George to hang up in their shop. Hermione slapped him and told him at least it didn't take Harry seven years to confess how he felt about Snape, to which Ron immediately turned bright red. He went on about Hermione being able to say it too and something about Viktor Krum, but they quickly tuned him out and he took the hint and shut up about it.

"Severus showed up in my kitchen this morning," Harry admitted after a moment. "Honestly, I came in to make some breakfast, in my pants, and he was sitting at the table reading the paper."

"What?" Hermione asked surprised.

"Yeah, I don't know. He broke into my flat and then scolded me for not having better security," Harry laughed.

"Mate, that's weird," Ron frowned. "Snape is weird enough, but now he's breaking into your flat and sitting in your kitchen while you sleep."

"Well, technically I'd like him to be in bed beside me," he laughed and Ron groaned loudly.

"Mate, that's really gross. I don't tell you bout me and Mione."

"Not like everyone doesn't know," Harry grinned and Hermione blushed. "I'm just saying it's not secret for anyone."

"Harry really likes him and we should be supportive," Hermione admonished Ron.

"Yeah, yeah. Harry and Snape in a tree and all that," he muttered.

The thing about Severus was that everything felt so unstable and that if he stepped onto the wrong spot the earth would turn to dust underneath him, and he would fall and that would be the end of everything. Each step had to be taken with so much caution and every move felt so absolutely tedious. He hoped that Severus would begin to melt and let him in soon, it was touch being on the outside. It all sort of felt overwhelming sometimes and it was starting to wear on him. All him wanted was a semi normal relationship with the man. He wanted to opportunity to spend the night asleep with him, not have sex, just spend the night in his arms, the two of them curled up together in a little piece of nirvana where the rest of the world didn't exist and didn't matter. He needed to learn how to express these things to the man though, and he hoped that by doing so he could open the window for the man to do the same with him. It was like they were doing this dance where they both kept taking the wrong moves and occasionally they would step into the right rhythm and move in unison. He just wished that moments of unison would come more often than they were.

Hell, he wasn't even sure if what Draco had said was true or a work of fiction to get him riled up. He just needed the lines to not be so blurred. He didn't mind taking his time, but he did mind wasting his time. If draco was right and the man was going to break his heart, he'd rather it happen sooner than later. All he wanted was to know, and to have to the time to pick himself up and move on rather than dragging it out. He wanted this so badly, he wanted this more than anything else, more than any Quidditch win or party or anything else there was on offer.

He wasn't sure what always worked him up and compelled him to end up Severus' doorstep when he over thought something or got too worked up. The man must be sick of it by now, but here he stood on the doorstep ready to knock. He didn't even get the chance because when he raised his hand, the door pulled open to reveal Severus. He smiled sadly and shrugged when the man invited him in.

"I need to say something, and will you let me say it without interrupting?" Harry asked quietly.

"Yes," Severus said after a moment.

"Okay," Harry said drawing in a deep breath. "I know you're a private person, and you took a big risk by kissing me. I just need for you to know how much I like. Like I love you and you don't have to say it back. I don't expect for you to."

"Harry…"

"Let me finish," Harry said calmly. "I know it's been such a short time, but when you know you just know. I know I'm someone who is normally so quick to jump the gun, but not about this, never about this. I love you and I just need you to know that, and I just think that maybe one day you'll be able to love me back too."

"I just need time," Severus confessed after a moment.

"I'll wait then."

"For what?"

"Until you love me too," Harry said with a lopsided smiled and the corners of Severus' mouth curved up in what could have been a smile.

"You're too good for me, you're too good for anybody."

"I'll never be too good for you," Harry smiled again.

**A/N: Thank you for reading and reviewing!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Here's Something I Can Hold On To**

**Chapter 7**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.**

The week following the win with Spain was incredibly busy. Between practices and press releases his time was very limited and seeing Severus began to suffer. The last time he had seen the man was when he had ditched one of his interviews, bought some India food and had showed up on the man's front step. Severus had scolded him for skirting responsibilities and he said he would just reschedule it later. Morning and afternoon practices were starting to get to him and he briefly considered putting in his papers for retirement after this season. Maybe, he could open a Quidditch shop in Hogsmeade there was a serious lack of a shop, especially considering the school outings on the weekends and quite fancied the idea of having his own shop.

After a particularly late night practice, Harry came dragging in at around half past eleven and the first thing that he noticed was the smell in his apartment. There was freshly cooked risotto warming on the stove for him and Severus was sitting at the small table in his kitchen annotating a book. Harry just sort of stood there and took in the sight, and found himself wishing that it was something that he could home to more often. After a moment Severus looked up and Harry smiled brightly at him.

"I ran a bath for you," Severus said after a moment. "I added some special potions to help you relax."

"Thanks," Harry smiled gratefully.

"You should go ahead before it gets cold," Severus said looking back down at the book in front of him.

Harry tossed his gear down by the door and kicked off his boots and headed into his bathroom. He stripped down and slid into the lavender scented water and immediately emitted a sigh of release. He didn't mean to spend so long in the bath, but something about the water made him want to stay. Finally the smell of the risotto drifted in and he couldn't his stomach grumbled loudly. He pulled himself out and wrapped a towel around his waist and padded into his bedroom. He quickly pulled on some sleep pants and an old t-shirt and headed back into the kitchen to where Severus sat.

The man gestured for him to eat and kept working as Harry moved around the kitchen pouring himself a glass of butterbeer and bringing it over to the table to sit down. Neither of them spoke for a moment and Harry dug into the risotto and let out an audible moan of pleasure. He hadn't realized how hungry he was until he took the first few bites, and then he completely tucked in and was finished in no time.

"Thanks for that, that was brilliant!" Harry said wiping his mouth.

"I am glad that you liked it."

"Not to be rude, but what are you doing here so late?"

"You've been busy with practices, and I thought it might be nice for you to come home to a home cooked meal."

"It really was brilliant," Harry grinned brightly. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," he nodded in return.

"What're you working on?" Harry asked curiously.

"Annotating the 7th year's textbook. I've chosen a new book and I've been making personal notes."

"Have you always done this?" Harry smiled running his fingers over the notes. "I remember when Slughorn gave me your old textbook, it had all the best tips and tricks for the potions in it."

"Ah, yes. I was quite like your friend Hermione in that aspect, just not a busy know it all in class."

"Hey! If it weren't for Hermione, Ron and I would have never made it through our exams," Harry countered.

"She is a good friend, but she is also a know it all," Severus smirked and Harry playfully slapped his arm.

"You're a git sometimes," Harry laughed.

"Which is an improvement from all the time," he countered.

"Too true."

"I should go, it's late," Severus said looking at the clock. "You're tired and you have practice tomorrow."

"I want you to stay," Harry said after a moment and Severus stopped and stared at him. "Stay the night with me."

"I should go," Severus repeated and closed the book in front of him.

"Please, stay."

"It's too soon," Severus replied and kissed Harry on the cheek before leaving.

Harry tossed and turned most of the night, he was so tired, but he just couldn't seem to fall asleep. When he did finally manage to doze off it felt like his alarm clock went off right after. He lazily climbed out of bed and padded into the kitchen to find a pepper up potion to get him through this morning's practice. He could do this it was only two hours and then he could come home and sleep until that evening's practice. He put some coffee and toast on and tiredly pulled on his training gear. Honestly, he couldn't wait for the off season when he could sleep in all morning if he liked, just a few more weeks he reminded himself. There was always this last bit of season in which he would get burnt out and he had to relight the fire underneath himself.

He stuck the pepper up into his bag and headed out the door. He meandered sleepily into the locker room and took it right before going out on the field. The potion definitely helped with his energy levels, but he was still pretty zoned out. He slowly circled the top of the pitch, scanning for the snitch, but the alternate seeker, David spotted it first. Harry scrambled to catch up to him and shot off across the field, by the time he got to the right end of the field David was already holding the snitch up triumphantly. The rest of practice follow much of the same suit, David beat Harry to the snitch almost every time. It was rather embarrassing considering that David flew for the Chudley Cannons, the worst team in the league. After the fourth loss to David in a row Oliver called him over and sent him down to the team doctor, because clearly something was going on with him.

Harry sat quietly on the table in locker room waiting for Lou to come and have a look at him. Lou said a quick hello to him and immediately started running diagnostic spells on him and checking his throat and reflexes. He didn't say anything for a moment and wrote down his findings in Harry's file, before looking up and giving him a quick smile.

"Rough night, Potter?"

"Yeah, I couldn't really get off to sleep," Harry admitted.

"Mate, looks like you've got a bit of a cold coming on. You don't have to go home, but I'm taking you off the field for the rest of the day."

"What am I meant to do?" Harry protested.

"You'll find something I'm sure," Lou smiled and patted him on the knee. "Be sure to take this potion though."

"Thanks," Harry smiled weakly.

"Rest now, play later," Lou said wisely.

Harry went into the locker room and took the potion and then stripped out of his pads. After changing, Harry went in search of one of the practices snitches, but couldn't find one so he decided to get one from the gift shop. As he was walking through the stadium lobby he noticed that all the smaller league coaches were in the lobby with various members of their teams. Ah, must be recruiting time, he mused to himself. All of the younger players started whispering and nudging each other when they spotted him walking by. He gave a small wave and smiled to them, but then the coaches noticed him as well. One in particular, Cormac Ramsey, started heading his direction with a huge grin on his face. Harry had only met the man in passing and he was good for a laugh, and if Harry was pretty certain the man had just taken over the Montrose Magpies this season, the best team in the league.

"Harry!" He grinned jovially and took Harry's hand and shook it enthusiastically. "How're you doing, mate!?"

"Well, and yourself?" Harry grinned brightly.

"Well! Well! Aren't you meant to be on the field, love?" Cormac asked concernedly.

"I've been benched for the day," Harry admittedly reluctantly. "David, from the cannons, has been showing me up all morning."

"Lost the magic touch, eh?"

"Just a bit of a cold," Harry smiled.

"Ah, well we all have bad days! What're you up to then?" 

"I was just off to find a practice snitch," Harry said running a hand through his hair.

"You should come out to lunch we me!" Cormac suggested brightly. "What's it gonna hurt?"

"I really shouldn't. I should probably be going home soon," Harry said half-heartedly.

"Nonsense! A good meal will have you feeling better in no time!" He boomed causing the others to turn and look.

"I don't know," he sighed hesitantly.

"I won't take no for an answer!"

"Alright, then," Harry said after a bit of persuading.

Harry checked out with the staff and went to change in the locker room. He wasn't sure why he agreed to go out for lunch with the man, but something told him might be a good idea. He was curious as to who Cormac was trying to convince the English team to draft and how good the bloke was. Most likely it wasn't a seeker, because in their efforts to sway Harry away from the Irish National Team the English had given the clause that they wouldn't play another seeker on the team. It hadn't mattered to him, but Draco had told him if he didn't take that offer then he was dumber than previously believed. Harry hadn't favored either team to be honest, he was just happy to go pro.

Cormac led him to one of the private team clubs close to the stadium. Every professional player was listed on the members list, but Harry had only ever bothered to go once. It hadn't even been to one of the bigger clubs, Ron had begged him to go to the Cannons one in Chudley for his birthday. Ron had been in heaven on that day, Harry had talked a load of the team members into showing up, and he'd honestly never seen Ron happier. The clubs were all disguised as abandoned buildings and the muggles were automatically wary of them, much like Hogwarts. The walls were lined with England banners and there were pictures of the starters. He inspected a photo of himself grinning broadly from on the wall. The place was mostly empty considering that it was midday, and they were seated almost immediately. Cormac order huge plates of food for them, and Harry was too polite to protest.

"So what're you plans for next season?" Cormac boomed.

"I'm still trying to sort that out, sir," Harry said picking at the chips on his plate.

"Not playing for England then?" Cormac asked, his interest immediately peaked.

"Dunno yet," Harry smiled. "You're the first person I've even mentioned this too, so if you could keep it quiet."

"What's your motivation, lad?"

"I'm hoping to have the motivation to want to spend less time on the pitch," Harry shrugged.

"Ohhhh," he replied knowingly. Who wouldn't know after the last game. "What're you looking to get into?"

"Maybe, go back to one of the smaller league teams or coach little league teams," Harry shrugged. "It all just sort of depends, but I do think I might leave this team after the World Cup is over."

"Just know there's always a spot on the Magpies for yah!" Cormac said clapping him on the back.

"Thanks," Harry smiled gratefully.

After lunch, Harry was completely knackered and dragged in and headed straight for his bed. He had loads to think about and he had made the stupid mistake of opening his big mouth before even having made a proper decision. He just hoped that he could trust Cormac not to spread the word around, at least not until he could make an official announcement that he was leaving England's team. He should also probably talk to his friends about it, and well see what Severus' opinion on it was. He was going to catch a lot of crap for this when it all came out of the bag, and even more when he announced if he was going to one of the regular league teams. He could understand people's outrage that he was dumping an opportunity that loads of people would want, and taking a step backwards. The only explanation he had for it was that he wanted something different now, not that it was anyone's business.

He wasn't so sure that the public would be so understanding of him wanting to give up his career for a relationship. Particularly, not one that happened to be with Severus Snape. People weren't that hostile towards Severus in the years that followed the war, but they're weren't cheering him on either. Severus would probably bail at the first sign of any public interest. Harry couldn't blame him, he knew exactly what it was like to go from being of no interest to the front page of the papers overnight. Harry had taken it in stride, but he was fearful that Severus might not be so tolerable. If he wanted this relationship to work he was going to have to keep everything as private as humanly possible for as long as possible. The less time anyone had to fret over it the better.

**A/N: Thanks for reading and reviewing. I know chapters have been coming pretty quickly lately, but I really need to work on the next chapter of Call Boy so if there's a bit of a delay don't worry haha. **


	8. Chapter 8

**Here's Something I Can Hold On To**

**Chapter 8**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.**

England had just won the first game in the run for the cup. It had been a tough game against Argentina, they had definitely proven to be formidable opponents. Harry had managed to set Severus, along with Ron and Hermione and the rest of the Weasleys up in one of the private boxes. It was mostly to shield Severus from the more brazen members of the press. Harry was currently in a mob of fellow teammates and members of the crowd who had flooded onto the field after he had managed to grab the snitch. They were all clapping him on the back in amazement, he couldn't believe it himself. It was nearly 4 hours into the game when the Argentinean seeker had spotted the snitch first, and took off down the field with Harry in high pursuit.

It was a battle of the seekers and when the snitch wasn't caught immediately the beaters from both sides got involved. They took turns sending bludgers hurling at the seekers. Harry was grazed a few times, but nothing like when the Argentinean seeker took one of the bludgers to his ribs and went down hard. Harry tried to remain focused on the snitch and bolted towards the goalposts where the snitch was darting around the middle ring. Harry thought he had it in the bag and when he reached out to grab the snitch a bludger made contact with his broom and it cracked. He quickly grabbed onto the metal ring and watched as his destroyed broom plummeted to the ground. The entire stadium was silent and watched in anticipation as Harry pulled himself up into sitting in the goal. He took a deep breath and held out the snitch in his hand and the entire stadium exploded in cheers around him.

As soon as his feet touched the ground he had been swarmed, and doused in champagne, but all he could do was manage to look for Severus. He couldn't wipe the smile off of his face and he had been hugged by so many different people he wasn't sure where he was on the field at this point. He tried to push his way off of the field, but he kept getting pushed back into the center. Then he was lifted onto his teammate's shoulders and there were flashes from cameras. Someone shoved a class of champagne in his hands and he held it up and the entire crowd went wild. Finally he spotted Ron's red mop coming through the crowd and Hermione and Severus weren't that far behind.

"Harry, come out with up!" Oliver called over the crowd.

"I can't," he said shaking his head.

"Oh, don't be a spoil sport! What could you possibly have to do!?"

"He's coming home with me and having dinner," Severus said silkily and Harry sent a dazzling smile his way.

"See, I can't," Harry smiled at Oliver and hugged all of the Weasleys. "Have a drink on me yeah?"

"Of course mate, I'll have a dozen!" Oliver beamed and shook his hand enthusiastically.

"You were brilliant," Severus silkily whispered into Harry's ear, sending shivers down his spine.

"It's all a part of the job," Harry grinned impishly.

"You had everyone on the edge of their seat."

"I was on the edge of mine own," Harry laughed pushing the locker room door open.

"I wouldn't have let you fall," Severus said soundly.

"My hero," Harry smiled softly.

"I aim to please," he said smoothly and slid an arm around Harry's waist.

Harry used Severus' shower while the man started preparing the ingredients to make Harry a stir fry. He tried to shower as quickly as possible, but upon getting out he realized he hadn't packed any spare clothes in his bag and the only clean clothes he had was his practice kit and was forced to put on his practice shorts and jersey. He cast a quick glance in the mirror and embarrassingly meandered back into where Severus was busy cooking. He stood near the doorway and shrugged when Severus looked at him puzzled.

"What're you wearing?" Severus asked clearly amused.

"I forgot to pack clean clothes. This is the only thing clean I had," Harry blushed.

"I can loan you something if you'd like?"

"That'd be great," Harry said fidgeting with his shorts.

"It's not the best but it's a step up from now," Severus said bearing a black button up and some black sleep pants.

"No they're brilliant," Harry grinned appreciatively and went to change.

Severus pulled the chair out from under the table for him, and he smiled at him in thanks. This was totally new to him, he wasn't sure if things were moving entirely too slow or just on time, he felt like regardless of the pace there should definitely be more kissing taking place, at least in his opinion. Severus was a brilliant cook and some part of Harry found himself appreciating the fact that before meeting Severus he would have been off his face drunk before he had even managed to leave the stadium. But now, instead of going home with some random from the pub, he was having a great evening with Severus instead. He couldn't even imagine being out drinking with the lads at this point, it just sounded so unappealing.

They spent most of dinner in a comfortable silence. Harry was starving after the game and busied himself with tucking in and he felt that Severus preferred silence while eating in general. When they had finished dinner Severus, offered him some ice cream for dessert, but he shook his head and had a butterbeer instead.

"You know normally I'd be off my tits by now," Harry said studying one of the books that had been placed on the mantel.

"Well this is a nice change then," Severus smirked looking up from the potions magazine he was skimming through.

"Will you kiss me?" Harry asked suddenly. "Like a proper kiss?"

Severus didn't say anything and studied Harry intently for a moment before standing up and crossing to where he stood. He cupped the side of Harry's face and leaned down and kissed him softly at first and quickly deepened it. When he pulled away Harry's lips were swollen and he looked and felt thoroughly snogged. A cheeky grin spread across his face as he watch Severus cross the room and pick up his potions magazine like nothing had happened. He stood there grinning for a really long time until Severus dryly made the comment that if he knew that's all it took to shut him up he might have applied the process much sooner. He stuck his tongue out and crossed the room to sit entirely too close to the man.

"I've got this charity thing tomorrow, and well I was hoping you'd come along?" Harry asked hopefully.

"What sort of thing?" Severus mused lightly.

"I'm meant to meet a group of kids from the orphanage at the stadium tomorrow. I do it every so often. I mean I was basically an orphan growing up, so I try to give them all a really good day," Harry rambled on.

"What do you do with them?"

"We have lunch together and most of them well fans I suppose so I take them flying. Things like that," Harry shrugged.

"What would I do?"

"I don't know be one of those sports wives, that stand off supportively to the side," Harry joked.

"I think not," Severus scowled without looking up from the cauldrons he was inspecting. "I do not know what purpose I would serve, but if you would like me to come I shall."

"You're brilliant!" Harry beamed and threw his arms around Severus in a tight hug.

"What is it that has you interested in me?" Severus asked after a moment.

"You're quite esoteric, and I like figuring you out," Harry said after a few seconds. "Also I know you're going to be honest with me, you're not the type of person who beats around the bush. Then there's the fact that I think you're incredibly handsome, and you're a great man."

"You're mad," Severus scowled.

"I feel like no one has really taken the time to look at you close enough. Including me, well until no, it's like one day my vision cleared up and I could see you for something more," Harry blushed. "You make me want to be a better person."

Severus sent Harry home some time after midnight and he was honestly sad to go. He longed for a night when the man would invite him to stay. He also wasn't ready for Severus' departure for Hogwarts, he would miss having the ability to just pop in at anytime of the day or night. Hogwarts would have Severus on a strict schedule, and with Harry still training heavily for the next two games of the cup he didn't know where they would fit time in for each other. He wasn't going to worry about that now, there was still a few days left and in a few weeks Harry would be free for the off season. It would just have to be a grin and bear it sort of few weeks. Harry was still pretty certain that he wanted to leave the team, and he wanted to focus on winning the cup if this was meant to be his last shot at it.

Harry could say that he went to bed quite happy that night. Having won the first game in the cup series and having been thoroughly snogged by Severus it couldn't get much better. Well it could get loads better in certain ways, but he was quite happy with it for now. They hadn't put a label on things yet, but he hoped that maybe Severus would ask him out properly. Something told him not to do it himself, but to wait for the man to make the first move in this zone. He did want to talk about it though and make it clear that this was up to Severus and he should be the one to make the move first. It wasn't because Harry didn't want to be the one, but because he was ready now and Severus clearly wasn't.

Harry woke up early and smiled at the fact that he was still wearing Severus' clothes from the night before. He pulled on one of his long sleeved jersey's and a pair of black athletic shorts, and carefully laid Severus' clothes on his bed. He popped into the kitchen and put on some toast and the kettle and went to pick the paper up off of the window sill. He was really pleased with himself when he saw that the headline was centered around the fact that he hadn't gone out and gotten off his face with the rest of the team. The paper speculated that he had spent the night with Severus and it also mentioned the complete lack of his drunken escapades since he had started to see the man. Then there at the bottom was an interview with an anonymous waitress about how she had overheard that he was planning to leave the team and that she had overheard another team attempting to scout him. Fucking hell, could no one keep anything a secret? He hadn't told anyone other than Cormac and this lady had deemed it fit to run to the papers with and they had waited til the morning of a win to print it.

He was sort of miffed when Severus came around, but the man had immediately cheered him up when he told him that at least his arse looked nice in the pictures. Who knew that Severus Snape would be in his kitchen and complimenting telling him how nice his arse was in an attempt to cheer him up. He hoped that no one would mention him leaving today and he sort of felt it was taboo to mention that you were about to leave a team before the season was ending. Sighing, he finished his breakfast and followed Severus out the door to apparate to the stadium. It felt odd having to walk through the muggle portion of London to get there, he hadn't in such a long time, all of the players were keyed into the fields, and the tickets acted as portkeys on game days, but Severus wasn't keyed in so they had to opt for the normal method.

Harry stood in the huge archway of the stadium with Severus behind him and watched the kids run around the field happily. They were all in matching England uniforms and he couldn't help but to smile. Severus wanted to excuse himself, but Harry asked him to say and said he could even sit down below in the team's benches while he was with the kids. The man obliged after a few minutes and Harry wandered out onto the field and once the first kid spotted him it was all over, he was swarmed within seconds. He loved these days, he loved kids and hoped that he could put in for an adoption sometime soon, after he had settled down and his Quidditch playing days were done. The kids were all trying to get his attention at the same time, and the rest of the team were being blatantly ignored by the excited youngsters.

The entire time that Harry spent with the kids he would catch himself glancing over to make sure the man was still there. Some part of him was scared that he would look up and the man would be gone, but there he was. Sometimes Harry would look up to find the man was already gazing at him and others the man would look deep in thought over the book he was reading. Harry's gaze never lingered too long because every time it wasn't he who caught himself standing in staring, one of the kids would and they'd drag his attention back to them.

Harry felt like he had never had so many pictures of himself taken before, every move he made seemed to be accompanied by the flash of a camera. He hated the publicity aspect of it, but he knew that it was good for the kids in the long run. Somehow attaching his name made this front page news, and it brought to light the issue of the parentless children in the wizarding world. There was the obvious connection with the fact that his own childhood had been similar, but mostly people were drawn to the fact that he was the savior of the wizard world, the boy who lived. He didn't mind, if that made people want to adopt one of the children then so be it. When it came time for everyone to leave, there was one last photo to be taken, and it was the group photo. Harry looked up to see Severus lingering behind the photographer and smiled brightly.

When he had said his goodbyes to everyone, he walked up to Severus and outstretched his hand for the man to take, and after a moment's hesitation the man finally did. Harry grinned at him and started to lead the man off of the pitch.

"Harry! Harry!" the reporter called after him. "Are the pair of you official?"

"Not yet, but I'm working on it," Harry grinned and led Severus off of the pitch.

**A/N: Yeah, I know I said it might be awhile but this just sort of happened, I hope you all like it haha. **


	9. Chapter 9

**Here's Something I Can Hold On To**

**Chapter 9**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter and I'm definitely not profiting from this. **

The day before Severus was due to depart from Hogwarts nearly drove Harry up the wall. He knew that the man more than likely had enough to keep him busy with his move back to Hogwarts. He found himself desperately wishing that he had a practice so that he could keep himself occupied instead of waiting around hoping that Severus might show up. He desperately wanted to see the man before he left for Hogwarts, but he also wanted to show that he was capable of giving the man space. Harry had been so full on with trying to show Severus how serious he was that he thought maybe that was deterring the man. Severus hadn't said anything and Harry was fairly certain that the man would tell him to back off if he wanted him too, but he also knew himself and how stubborn he could be and how likely he was to ignore that.

He spent the morning tidying his flat, but that didn't take as long as he had hoped. He had left over stew for lunch, but barely picked at it. He was rattled with disappointment and anticipation. The afternoon was proving to be a bigger challenge and went about signing the reply cards to anyone who had sent him a letter in the past few months. He also pulled out all of his fan mail and gifts and started opening it. It didn't quite feel his need, but it was something to keep him busy.

Harry soon abandoned his fan mail, regretting not asking Hermione to come by and help him like she normally did. He was dressed in one of the Magpies jersey's that Cormac had sent to him and a pair of briefs that someone had sent to him with seeker plastered across the ass. Cormac was still trying to scout him from the look of all the Magpies gear the man had sent him. Harry had no idea what he was going to do after England, playing for the Magpies was an option, but any training schedule was going to be intense and time consuming.

His sitting room was covered in random articles of clothing and boxes of chocolates that probably contained some sort of love potion. Normally his agent would prescreen everything before sending it along to him, but he made a habit not to eat anything from strangers.

He instantly regretted his choice of clothing when he heard a knock at the door. He sighed lightly and went to answer the door half dressed. He felt a blush creep on his cheeks when Severus was standing there in the doorway taking in the entire scene. He silently admonished himself for not making the decision to pull on his pants before coming to the door.

"I didn't think I'd see you today," Harry grinned goofily.

"I didn't think I'd see so much of you," Severus countered causing him to blush even more.

"They were gifts," Harry said gesturing to the mess in his front room.

"Ah, may I come in?" Severus asked casually.

"Oh, yeah, right," Harry said stepping aside to allow the man inside.

Harry watched the man inspect a box of the chocolates and unceremoniously dump them into the trash. He opened his mouth to say something as the man looked at the next box and tipped it into the trash as well.

"What are you doing?" Harry asked curiously.

"These have love potions in them," Severus said eyeing him curiously. "I hope you didn't ingest any of these."

"Oh, no I never do," He shrugged. "I usually toss them all, I just haven't gotten to it yet."

"Wise," Severus said and Harry absorbed the man's attempt at a compliment.

He rushed over and cleared the couch so that the man could take a seat and hurried off back into the kitchen to put the kettle on. He came back in a few moments later baring a tray with the tea on it and noticed that Severus was all but checking him out.

"Who do I have to thank for your wardrobe?" Severus mused.

"Oh, um," Harry blushed and sat the tray down in front of him on the coffee table.

"This is as the muggles like to say a kodak moment," Severus teased further and Harry found himself at a loss for words.

Harry spent the evening leaning his head against Severus' shoulder as the watched useless television. He ran his fingers over the older man's palm and he wasn't sure if it was because the man was annoyed with him, but soon Severus had interlaced his fingers with his own and they were holding hands. Harry had almost never felt more pleased about something. They didn't say much, but he didn't mind, it was just the fact that they were getting to spend some time together before the term started. Some time together that wasn't within the walls of Hogwarts.

When term started Harry knew that it was going to be difficult for them to just do this whenever they pleased. It would be hard for them to even get to have dinner together in the evenings. Between practices and games and Severus' classes and the detentions he was going to dole out, time was precious.

When it was time for the man to go home, Harry felt himself become more upset than he should have. He bit his lip as the man stood on the threshold of his flat and bade him goodnight. What surprised Harry most of all was when Severus leaned down and kissed him. It was soft and chaste at first, but it quickly took a turn and became heated and full of desperation. Harry found himself pressed against the wall as Severus kissed him harder.

He could feel himself start to grow hard as the man deepened the kiss and his tongue found its way into Harry's mouth. He groaned into the kiss and then groaned again at the loss of contact as Severus pulled himself away. He was half aroused and half disappointed as he watched the older man straighten his robes and once again make for the door.

"Forgive me," Severus said quietly and with a quick peck on his cheek the man was gone.

Harry closed the door confused and locked up for the night. He made his way into the bathroom and turned on the shower. He hurriedly stripped before stepping under the warm jets. He could feel how hard he was as he replayed the kiss over and over in his head. He finally gave in and ran his hand down his stomach and gave himself a quick wank to relieve the frustration that he had been left with. He finished his shower quickly after that and climbed into his bed still replaying the moment in his head.

This was progress right? The man hadn't been so brazen the entire time that they had been seeing one another. He had made the first move tonight, and Harry found himself grinning stupidly in the dark.

He wasn't so happy the following morning, when he woke up alone and sexually frustrated. His night had been filled of dreams of him and Severus in various, for lack of a better word, hot scenarios. Harry willed his erection to go away and quietly got up to dress in the dark for his morning practice.

He was tired and frustrated as his broom circled the pitch and he couldn't focus on the finding the snitch at all. He just felt very foggy since what had happened with Severus. He wished that the man hadn't bolted or that he hadn't even kissed him at all. Why had he ran? The kiss made the fact that Severus wanted him back pretty obvious. Severus' famous composure had cracked, but he had reigned t back in so quickly. Why was he being so careful and restrained? Harry was certain that he had made his intentions clear. Was Severus Snape afraid of being hurt?

Harry was shaken from his thoughts when he heard obvious moans of displeasure all around him. It seemed as though Ginny had managed to catch the snitch without him even noticing what was happening. The rest of the day was much of the same, he tried in vain to best Ginny on the pitch. He could tell that his teammates were more than unhappy with his performance at practice and all he could do was mutter a stream of half hearted apologies.

He tried to get into contact with Severus multiple times over the next few days to no avail. It was if the man had disappeared into the dungeons of Hogwarts. He even wrote a few letters, but by Friday morning no reply had come. It was if Severus was openly avoiding him and that just served to light a fire underneath him. He couldn't figure out what the man was thinking, or what had happened since the night that Severus had come to tell him goodbye. His focus and concentration were all centered around this and he was struggling on the pitch. Even worst were the headlines in The Daily Prophet that were asking if he had cold feet in the run up to the cup.

On Friday night he decided that he could have no more of it and decided that he was going to go to Hogwarts and confront the man. He needed to know what was going on. If he didn't sort out his personal life he was doomed to let his team and all of their supporters down.

He stalked into the entrance hall of the castle and ignored the hushed whispers of students that recognized him and headed straight for the dungeons. Severus' office was empty so he continued down the few doors to the potions classroom. Inside he found Severus giving two second years a piece of his mind for being irresponsible in class. He took points and instructed them to get to work scrubbing cauldrons.

He stood in the doorway waiting for Severus to notice him and finally the man looked up and spotted him.

"I need to talk to you," Harry said briefly and the two second years jumped.

"What is there to talk about?" Severus said sourly.

"Listen we can do this here with them or we can go to your office," Harry said eyeing the two kids that were looking between them in shock.

"Get back to work," Severus barked. "I'll be back shortly and you had better of made a dent in those cauldrons." 

"Yes, Professor Snape."

Severus stalked out of his classroom and down the hall and threw his office door open for Harry to go inside. Harry eyed him cautiously before stepping inside and taking one of the seats in front of Severus' desk. He felt a shiver run over him as he was briefly reminded of his days as a student, and the times he had been forced to sit here and get a proper reaming from Severus. He shook it away and waited for the man to take a seat across from him.

Severus fiddled in the cabinet behind his desk and pulled out a bottle of scotch and poured himself a glass and motioned if Harry would like some. He shook his head and waited patiently for the man to make the first move.

"How can I help you on this fine evening, Mr. Potter?" Severus asked crassly.

"What is wrong with you?" Harry asked confused. "First you ignore me all week and now you're being a right prat. What did I do?"

"I should have never of let you think anything was happening between us," Severus said after a moment.

"What are you talking about? You kissed me!" Harry nearly shouted. "I thought things were going swell between us."

"You thought wrong!" Severus said bringing a fist down on the table.

"What's this about?" Harry demanded. "What's happened between now and that night? What's changed?"

He watched as Severus ripped the top drawer of his desk open and slammed down a copy of Witch Weekly. Harry stared between him and the magazine confused and finally Severus pulled the thing open and shoved it over to him.

Inside was a picture of him and Draco Malfoy on the pitch. The two of them were just being friendly, but the article below made assumptions about how they might be dating again if the rumors of a previous romance were true. Harry looked up at the man in a mix of shock and anger and threw the magazine against the wall.

"Are you insane? I would never date Draco! He's just a friend. Every time that we are spotted together it ends up in some insane write up about how we've had a rocky on and off relationship!"

"How am I to know that? There's nothing more changeable than a young man's heart!" Severus replied vehemently. "How can you deny how right the pair of you look together?"

"Give it a rest, okay? You know it's you and me. You know that and you're being stupid! The only reason that your picture isn't there is because you won't fucking let me announce that we're in this relationship or whatever it is we're in!"

"I can't possibly give you what you need. You'll see that! You think that you're in love with me, but it's a boyish whim, in a few months you'll fall out of love with me. It won't last, it never does, and the entire time I'll pretend that I didn't see it coming! I'll pretend that I didn't see it coming because I won't fall out of love with and then it'll be too late you'll be gone." Severus shouted back at him.

"What part of I love you don't you understand? I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU!" Harry yelled desperately.

"It's only been a few weeks how could you possibly know such a thing!?" Severus demanded angrily.

"I know because when you're not there I don't know what to do with myself. I can't take my mind off of you. I've gotten my ass kicked on the pitch everyday this week, because I can't stop thinking about you kissing me! You're not just some passing fancy. I would never purposely hurt you!"

Before he knew what was happening Severus had pulled him up out of the chair and into a frantic kiss. He found himself pressed against the wall again, moaning into the man's mouth. It was if they might never have the chance to kiss again and hands were everywhere. Harry fisted his hands in the front of Severus' robes and the man drug him across the room and into his private quarters. 

"Wait, what about your detention?" Harry asked and Severus froze.

"Stay here, I'll be back in an hour or so," Severus growled and stalked out of the room and Harry could only feel sorry for the students he was returning to.

**A/N: I'm sorry this took ages to post. My computer crashed a couple of weeks ago and I nearly had this chapter done and instead I ended up losing everything which was pretty disheartening. I promise that future updates will come much sooner. Thanks for reading and reviewing!**


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